I feel so violated.

I thought someday, I might be ready for it. But. . . this. This was just too soon.

I feel confused. And more than a little dirty. I don't think there's enough hot water and scrubbing to remove the stain from my soul.

It wasn't at all how I'd imagined it -- I had wanted it to be exciting, beautiful, opening new possibilities in our togetherness. Instead, I was forced to share new parts of myself, and in exchange I received nothing.

It was all over so quickly. Callously. And I was left alone to gingerly inspect the innermost workings all by myself, afraid of the carnage I might find there.

No, it was not "good for me." Not at all.

Damn you, NewBlogger.